Facing Fears

Those who are closest to me know that I really struggle with change and being outside of my comfort zone. I love tradition and things that I'm familiar with. I'm not exactly the most flexible person you'll ever meet. I won't be the gal to go white water rafting with you, and while I love to read about goal setting, I can be adverse to anything that rocks the balance I've created in my world. 

Earlier this year, I shared that I'm using Lara Casey's Powersheets to chart out my goals this year, and the first step of the process was identifying your fears, as well as your highlights/achievements from the previous year. I thought this was a very insightful process, as it caused me to reflect upon the things I was proudest of, as well as giving thought to what may be holding me back from moving forward in life. 

It was easy to identify change as one of my largest fears, but what was very surprising to me is that nearly all of the highlights from my year involved times that I did bravely step out of my comfort zone and into the unknown. The obvious takeaway is that pushing myself to confront that fear brought the happiest and most gratifying moments, which really does make perfect sense. 

I moved out of the apartment I'd lived in for over 6 years, and in with my beau. Though this was clearly something I was very happy to do, I would be challenged to feel at home somewhere new, as well as opening my heart to sharing a home with a significant other for the first time. It was honestly one of the easiest things I've ever done, and even in those first few days, I didn't miss my old apartment at all. 

This fall, my college alma mater invited me to participate in a musical theater showcase. While I was initially very excited to participate (seeing old friends! singing on stage again!), I grew extremely nervous because I hadn't actually performed onstage since I took my final bow in Fiddler on the Roof senior year of college 10 years prior. But, I decided to embrace the opportunity and had an absolutely terrific time. 

I have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember, and have fought finding a way to make it better because, quite frankly, I was scared. I was used to feeling that way, and what if I didn't like feeling different? What if it got worse? You get the picture. But, this year, I took a few brave steps toward finding a solution, and I feel better than ever. 

The lesson? I'm much stronger and more adaptable than I think I am, and stepping outside of my comfort zone and facing those fears have accounted for some of the absolute best moments in the past year. As we continue to move into 2014, I am trying to find more of these moments, and I hope that you do the same. 

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Favorite Podcasts

About 7 months ago, my commute to work changed from 25 minutes to between 45 minutes and 90 minutes (thank you, DC traffic!). To keep my mind sane on those long drives every day and help feel that I wasn't "wasting" it while sitting on the Beltway, I started listening to podcasts and audio books. I'd always enjoyed the occasional podcast, but I hadn't started listening with any regularity or devotion until I was sitting in my car for a potential of 3 hours per day. Don't get me wrong, sometimes a Spotify sing-along does happen on a particularly grueling day, but these fabulous podcasts have certainly become a bright spot in my week. 

The Sarah R. Bagley Podcast - I'm lucky enough to have Sarah as a blog-friend-turned-real-life-friend, and I'm so happy that she started this podcast venture this year. The premise behind her podcast (and lovely blog) is "a recovering perfectionist's guide to a B+ life", and I find it incredibly inspiring. Plus, she's been interviewing other favorite bloggers of mine, and it's been so fun to hear the actual voices of those blogs I have been reading for years. 

Ask Me Another - I'm late to the party on this one, but it is just such fun! It's a quiz style game show with hilarious banter and Jonathan Coulton as the house musician. I literally laugh out loud, smile, and occasionally applaud when I listen to this one. And, when I occasionally know the answers, I feel like such a smarty pants. 

Joy the Baker - Joy and her best friend Tracy are just delightful. They talk about "totally important unimportant things", as well as answering listener questions. Listening to these two is like spending time with your best girlfriends, and I laugh and feel inspired in equal parts. 

After the Jump - This podcast by Grace Bonney of Design*Sponge is such a treat to listen to each week. Grace is very well spoken and inspiring, and she spends the half hour show either interviewing a designer, chef, or artists, or talking by herself about the tools that help her life and business. Recently, she's been doing a series on things that make things easier, from apps to social media to lessons she wished she'd known when she started her business. 

Pop Culture Happy Hour - This hour-long show features a spirited group of people discussing movies, TV, music, books, and nostalgia. It's always entertaining and informative, whether they are discussing my current favorite TV show or something I'm not familiar with. 

I'm always in the market for new podcasts, so please share your favorites with me! 

Disconnect & Connect

On Saturday, the weather in DC was decidedly spring like -- sunny & 60s. After the coldest and snowiest winter in recent history, it was an instant mood boost to have a day like that. My beau and I decided to celebrate the weather by taking a long walk around our neighborhood in Arlington, and it was the best decision I've made in recent memory. 

Our neighborhood was filled with people enjoying the day -- people walking their dogs, dads shooting hoops with their kids, a little boy playing around with a hose in his driveway, and girls arriving for a birthday party with brightly colored balloons. As we walked and walked, we connected with these people with a friendly nod or smile. Everyone was happy, everyone was enjoying life. 

It felt wonderful to be connected to those around us. In the busy metropolitan area that we live in, it's easy to feel a distinct lack of connection to strangers. We are constantly surrounded by people -- sometimes, it feels, too many people -- as we commute to work and wait in line at the grocery store. But as I stopped to pet a dog and chat with the owner about how nice the day was, I realized that everyone is looking for that bond with others. 

Also, it was so nice to stroll hand in hand with my beau and be able to connect with him. We talked about anything and everything that came up, and it was so refreshing to have that time with him where the only distractions were the bright sunshine and cool breeze. Of course, we talk all the time (probably a little too much if you ask him), but our world was free from to-do lists, iPhone screens, and dirty dishes, if only for a moment, and we could focus on each other. 

My mind was also blissfully clear, remembering walks I'd taken with my grandparents as a child on days exactly like that, and allowing a little room to daydream instead of just slogging through the next thing to accomplish. What an easy thing to do, yet often put to the back burner because of "more important" tasks. 

As we move fully into the spring season over the coming weeks, I am going to challenge myself to find more of these moments - moments to equally disconnect (with those things that tend to take up too much of our attention) and connect (with those things that truly matter). 

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Weekly Favorites

I feel like the internet has been chock-full of inspiration lately, and I wanted to share some of my favorite things that have been posted this week. I love reading blogs, because they have connected me with so many like-minded people around the country that I otherwise would never have met. Reading their posts is like a breath of fresh air. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.

+ Ashlee of Where My Heart Resides wrote a beautiful post about not keeping score in our friendships. What if instead of keeping score we simply poured into each other as best we could and helped each other with whole, generous hearts?

+ Analiese of The Necessary Wild shares her winter care essentials. Sometimes the most utterly simple shifts in a self-care routine can make all the difference in one's state of mind.

+ Nina of Wee Mountains tells her secret for a happy marriage. ...it’s about growing, and changing, and compromising, and saying “I’m sorry.” and “You’re right.” and “Thank you for loving me at my most unlovable moments.”

+ Emma of A Beautiful Mess wrote an extremely heartfelt post about achieving your dreams, and how they might change along the way. Life is absolutely full of opportunities. Don't let them pass you by simply because they aren't the opportunities you thought you wanted. We don't always know what direction our life will go.

+ Ashley of That Is All shares her favorite radiant orchid makeup products, which is just the boost I needed during this endless winter. Purple is known to be a universally flattering color, and I think Radiant Orchid with it's pink undertone is especially pretty.

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Ducks in a Row

I am by no means an expert at organization, but my Type-A personality means that I've tried many different ways of tracking my to-do lists, appointments, and tasks. To me, keeping things like this well-organized means that my brain is free to actually do these things, instead of wondering what comes next. And, because I'm a person who can become overwhelmed easily, having all of my ducks in a row keeps that feeling at bay. I may be a tad Monica Gellar, but it works really well for me. 

My Organizational Tools 

Erin Condren Life Planner
I've long been a paper planner gal. While I do incorporate digital elements, nothing works better or is more satisfying for me than writing things down in a paper planner. I love to see the week at a glance, as well as schedule tasks & to-dos for particular days. I also use this planner as a journal of sorts, as I jot down random activities, meals, etc. I've used other planners in the past, but so far, this one is my favorite. It's a bit of an investment, but for something that I use daily for 12 months, it's worth it. It has a monthly spread and a weekly spread with each day broken down into morning, day, and evening, as well as a goals/notes section and room for other to-do lists or notes at the bottom. I may switch it up next year and try Emily Ley's Simplified Life Planner (swoon!), but for now, this is working really well. 

Evernote
Finally, a place for ALL of my notes and lists to coexist together! I'm a recent adopter of Evernote, but have been using it on my work & personal computers, iPhone, and iPad consistently for a few months. Admittedly I don't use these to the fullest, but it's a great place to keep track of important lists & documents that you'd like to access from anywhere. I keep my grocery list/meal ideas there, my 2014 goals, a master to-do list for work (including major deadlines), Christmas gift list, bucket list, blog post ideas, etc. It has a great virtual "check box" feature, and I love that it syncs up and is available everywhere. 

iCal or Google Calendar 
I use this to keep track of appointments and firm deadlines. Like many other users, I have several different calendars (work, personal, etc) so they can be color coded. I also have a shared calendar with my beau, as well as access to his personal calendar, so it's easy to see at a glance what events are upcoming. It's also great how this is available from various devices and you can set alerts & reminders. 

Schedule Time to Plan & Prioritize 

Every Sunday night (or another time during the weekend if needed), I open up all of the things mentioned above and chart out my week in my planner. I make sure all of the appointments and deadlines are there, as well as making my personal & work to-do lists for the week and assigning them to days of the week if possible. The nature of my job is that often tasks will spring up at the last minute, but this really helps me to have an idea of what a week is shaping up to be. 

Because I'm an introvert and require a certain about of downtime to function at my best, planning my week in advance allows me to make sure that unscheduled time is, well, scheduled. If I know I have long days or social plans Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday, you can bet that Tuesday night is going to be blocked off for DVR catch-up and an easy dinner. Also, I can see what weekend days are free and be sure I can make plans with friends early in the week. 

Another thing that I try to do regularly is for the final 15 minutes of every workday, I prioritize my tasks for the next day. Some things may not have gotten done, and there may also be new tasks that have been added to my list. Making sure I know where to start assures me that I'll begin my day focused and not scrambling to figure out what should have my attention. I also try to spend the last 30 minutes of Friday's workday making my to-do list for next week (again, moving over any unfinished tasks as well as adding those I know about), which makes Sunday night's planning session a breeze. 

Leave Room for Spontaneity

And, above all, don't plan every single moment of your life -- make sure to leave a little room to wing it & be spontaneous. Clearly, it's good to make sure the things you need are a part of your week, but sometimes you've got to abandon your original plan and be a little flexible. What if you were planning to stay late at the office to get ahead on a project, but got invited to get a pedicure with a coworker? What if you have a well-stocked fridge and your dinners all planned out, but you feel like celebrating a regular old Tuesday with dinner out? Plan, of course, but leave room for fun that you don't even know exists yet. 

The Little Things

Around this time of year, it's easy to start thinking about all of the things that we're waiting for -- spring, warmer temperatures, short sleeves, vacations, etc. In DC, we've been having what seems like an endless winter, filled with wind chills and snow days. Shockingly, even this winter lover is ready for the season to change, but as I always find, the key to making it through any situation is focusing on those little things that bring you happiness in the every day. 

I challenged myself to make a list of everything in my life right now that is bringing me happiness, and I encourage you to do the same. 

+ A chai latte on a rainy Wednesday morning
+ Losing myself in a good book 
+ Taking an afternoon nap, and not setting an alarm 
+ Binge-watching a guilty pleasure TV show (this is slightly embarrassing for me to admit, but I'm currently loving Pretty Little Liars)
+ Reacquainting myself with items in your closet & makeup bag that you've all but forgotten about 
+ Listening to podcasts on my way to work (current favorites are Ask Me Another and After The Jump) 
+ Clementines (aren't they one of the best things about late winter?)
+ Going to see Frozen with a good friend, getting frozen yogurt afterward and singing the songs in the car on the way home 
+ Watching Downton Abbey every Sunday (man, Mary is just super popular these days!)
+ Listening to the Girls: Marnie Songza station during the workday 
+ FaceTime calls with my parents, and my mom using emojis in texts 
+ Lighting a candle in the evenings when I get home from work 
+ Tulips from Trader Joe's, to brighten up our kitchen table (and remind me that spring is coming) 
+ A normal weekday night at home with my beau, after a week of super busy days 
+ My 82-year-old grandpa's Facebook posts 
+ Our annual Valentine's Day tradition: Chipotle for dinner 

Here's to making the most of these final winter days, and appreciating all the good that surrounds us. 

{Image via Pinterest} 

Favorite Books of 2013

I have always been a bookworm. My parents used to have to pry the latest Baby-Sitters Club book out of my hand so I could actually eat my dinner, and reading has always been one of my favorite things to do. 

For the past few years, I've been keeping track of books that I've read (or want to read) on Goodreads, and setting a yearly challenge for myself. For 2013, I challenged myself to read 30 books, and actually ended up reading 37. As I was looking back over the list of those that I read, I thought I'd share my favorites with you. 

Humans of New York, by Brandon Stanton
I happened upon Brandon's blog several months ago, and I look forward to seeing his daily portraits. This book is a collection of those portraits, which means that it's a quick "read" (I spent about an hour from cover to cover), but it's so beautiful and insightful. Brandon manages to capture the essence of these people, from newborn to 99. I laughed out loud and was extremely moved, and numerous photos required a lengthy second look. I borrowed it from the library, but it would make an excellent coffee table book and conversation starter.

Fangirl, by Rainbow Rowell
Rainbow Rowell certainly became one of my favorite authors this year, and Fangirl just might be my very favorite book that I read this year.  It was such a relatable, moving portrait of the first year of college and everything that comes along with it. Cath is an introvert with a love of writing fan fiction, a dad she feels guilty leaving at home, and a twin sister that is ready to shed her family baggage and have a new identity. Her quiet strength and growth over the course of her freshman year is lovely to watch, and I ended the book very hopeful for her future.

Unbroken, by Lauren Hillenbrand
I read this for my book club, and while it is definitely not my typical genre, I absolutely adored it. It follows Air Force bomber Louis Zamperini as he survives the unbelievable during and after World War II. While difficult to get through at several points, this book is incredible. I absolutely love Louie, and his story is inspiring and unforgettable.

The Husband's Secret, by Liane Moriarty
While clearly a lighter type of read, for me, this book had it all - fully drawn primary & secondary characters that are vulnerable & likeable, a well-timed plot that made it difficult to put down, and a well written and satisfying conclusion. Moriarty knows how to write a good story and give the characters an ending that they deserve. It isn't a deep, life-changing story, but I was left feeling like I'd watched a full series of a beloved TV show.

Eleanor & Park, by Rainbow Rowell
My first Rainbow Rowell book, and such a fantastic read! I listened to this as an audio book, so Eleanor & Park were my constant companions for a week and a half. More than once, I found myself lingering in the car just to hear a little more. This book is a beautiful, spot on portrait of falling in love for the first time and feeling not so alone as an awkward teenager. Eleanor and Park were extremely well drawn, as were the secondary characters (I loved Park's parents). Highly recommend, especially as an audio book - it's read by two different people, and I think the male & female voices made it more special.

The Silver Linings Playbook, by Matthew Quick
I saw the movie first, but I think it helped me enjoy the book even more. Pat was so optimistic despite everything he had been through, and I really found myself rooting for him. The takeaway is that it's never too late for a new beginning, and (not surprisingly) there really always is a silver lining. 

What books have you enjoyed recently? Though my to-read list is a mile long, I'm always looking for recommendations.