Creating Space

 

In this digital age of virtual calendars, to-do lists, and perpetually over-scheduling ourselves, it's so hard to allow ourselves room in our daily lives to just be. As an introvert, I often have to literally schedule unscheduled time for myself in my planner, but even then, packing our days and weekends full has just become the norm. I also tend to cherish unplanned moments to just have true downtime (i.e. reading, watching TV, taking a nap) and don't realize that filling those spaces with other restorative activities can have an even greater impact.

One morning last week I was facing a long day at work, the kind that typically made me want to hide under the covers until the last possible moment. But that morning, I decided to try something different. I got up earlier than normal (only about 30 minutes) and gave myself time to get ready without being in a hurry. I wasn't racing against the clock as I traveled to work, and even enjoyed listening to a new podcast (have you listened to Pop Culture Happy Hour yet? It's my new favorite).

And, a strange thing occurred -- I actually found myself in a terrific mood when I arrived at work, with more energy than usual. And with less sleep? It seemed a little backwards, but it led me to realize what other areas of my life could benefit from a little extra space. 

This past weekend, my beau & I found ourselves with a completely unscheduled Saturday. We headed out to Takoma Park, a neighboring little town with cute shops and spots for lunch. We planned on having lunch there, but after lunch, we decided to swing by a cafe just down the street for a hot beverage and a sweet treat. As we wandered in, we realized that it wasn't really a "to go" type place, so we decided to settle in and sip our drinks out of actual mugs. What a treat to not rush off somewhere! We sat & chatted, and afterward decided that coffee dates should be a part of our regular repertoire. 

What small changes, but what big impact on my daily life and mood. I hope to keep creating these little areas of space for myself, and am excited to see what fills them.

5 Star Books of 2012

Since joining Goodreads a few years ago, I've found it a fantastic way to organize what I've read & want to read, see what other friends are reading, and rate books once I've finished. Last year, I joined the Goodreads Challenge for the first time, with a goal of reading 25 books (I'd only read 14 the year before). I ended up reading 27, and upped my goal this year to 30. 

I went through my bookshelf and saw that there were 7 books from this past year that I'd rated 5 stars, and I thought I'd share them with you.

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
After 2 girlfriends recommended this book to me, I downloaded it for my Kindle. Though it's technically young adult, this beautiful story is much more poignant to me now than if I'd read it as a teen. It follows two teenagers who meet at a cancer support group and the path their life takes in the months to follow. Certainly a tearjerker, but it doesn't stay with the stereotype you might be imagining. As an only child, the well drawn relationship between Hazel and her parents was one of my favorite parts of the book. 

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Thrillers aren't usually in my comfort zone, but I found myself flying through this exhilarating book I read for my book club. At one point, I texted a friend who had already finished because I was so anxious about it I didn't think I'd be able to continue. She advised me to push through, and I'm so glad I did. Though it doesn't have the most satisfying ending, this story following a couple after the wife's disappearance is a well-paced roller coaster ride. 

The Paris Wife by Paula McLain 
We follow Hadley, the first wife of Ernest Hemingway as she meets, marries, and moves with him to Paris during the 1920s. This book paints a stunning portrait of Paris and read like a memoir. I found myself really identifying with Hadley, even as she navigated grim waters. 

The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker 
In this slightly sci-fi book, we follow Julia as she deals with normal adolescence against the backdrop of the earth's rotation slowing slightly each day. What I loved about this book was that it was a tremendously well written coming of age story, but also had a unique (and eerily believable) sci-fi storyline. This book is slow paced and beautifully written, and left me thinking about it long after I'd turned the last page.

Wild by Cheryl Strayed 
As an aforementioned "indoorsy" person, I was worried whether I'd grow bored or disinterested with Cheryl's adventures hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. On the contrary, I found this book a beautiful portrait of a woman in her 20s grieving her mother's death, with  easily readable vignettes of her time on the trail. It reminded me of a gritter Eat, Pray, Love without the "you need to find love to be fulfilled" aspect. 

The Stuff That Never Happened by Maddie Dawson 
Sometimes a quick chick-lit book comes along and becomes one of your favorite books of the year. I flew through this book in a matter of days, all the while wanting it never to end. It alternates between the 70s and the present, and the character development is so fantastic. We follow Annabelle and a heart-fluttering and believable love triangle with Jeremiah and Grant. 

Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed
After reading Wild, I knew I also wanted to read this compilation of Cheryl Stayed's once anonymous advice columns for The Rumpus. What I didn't expect was to weep, be inspired, and want to keep this book by my nightstand forevermore. These advice columns are a beautiful portrait of a strong woman who has a lot of perspective to share.

What were some of your favorite books of the year?

Favorite Things: January 2013

Temple Run - I'm not really much of a game player, but my boyfriend's nieces got me hooked on this game during our recent trip to California. The basic gist is that you're an explorer running through a temple while being chased by monkeys. You collect coins, jump over things, slide under things, and (my favorite part!) when you die, you can just play again. It is mindless and fun, and kept my mind occupied during my long flights. 

David's Tea - I'd heard many good things about this loose leaf tea company, but hadn't actually bit the bullet to order any. Imagine my glee when I found an actual store a stone's throw from where we stayed in San Francisco! I picked up 6 different kinds, and each has been a winner. My favorite so far is Organic Detox, a green tea blend with ginger, gingko, and juniper berries. 

YSL Volupte Sheer Candy - I first heard of this tinted gloss/balm from my friend Ashley (who has an amazing blog & YouTube channel), but it took me a few months to pony up the cash & give it a try. But after all the lip products I've purchased over the past year or so, this one absolutely takes the cake. After purchasing it 2 weeks ago, I literally have worn nothing else. The color (I have mouthwatering berry) is gorgeous, it smells slightly fruity, and it hydrates my lips like nothing else I own. 

Julep nail polish - I have a serious nail polish buying problem, which is why I'm thrilled to have found Julep. Their creme polishes are fantastic, glossy, and long wearing, and they have a fun monthly subscription service (called Julep Maven) where you receive 2 polish colors + a special product each month. Best of all, you can skip any month without penalty. 

What Alice Forgot - I've read many good books this year, but my favorite so far is What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty. It follows a woman named Alice who, at 39-years-old, has a head injury where she wakes up thinking she's 29-years-old. It may sound like a slightly cheesy premise, but the primary & secondary characters were extremely well developed and it really left me thinking about the storyline well after I'd finished the book. 

What are you enjoying this month?

Welcoming a New Year

 “I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” -Audrey Hepburn 

It's so difficult to not get in the full scale resolution mode when January rolls in, ready to chuck your current life out the window in favor of some perfect version where you take public transportation daily and make green smoothies after waking naturally without an alarm. I'll admit, I love a fresh start as much as the next person, and after spending a week in Ohio eating cheesy casseroles & cookies, I truly did long to drink that yucky-looking-but-delicious green sludge.  

But the problem with grandiose resolution making is that it creates this mindset that we're not up to snuff, and that we need "fixing". And, when you ultimately don't get up early enough to take the bus to work (ahem, me this morning), you feel as if you've let yourself down. And it's only the 10th day of the year! Oh, the pressure. 

As I was reading all of the very inspiring blog posts and magazine articles about making resolutions, I ran across this gem over at Green Plate Studios. Analiese writes "It’s so important for us, especially women, to remember that we are already powerful, whole, and worthy of love exactly as we are. Set the intentions. Set the resolutions. Set the goals. But don’t make them about fixing what’s wrong. There is nothing wrong with you. (Anyone who tells you otherwise? Probably trying to sell you something.) Focusing on what we see as flaws keeps us from enjoying real life, in all its messy and imperfect glory."

Often, I get caught up in the awful cycle of feeling like I'm not "enough": pretty enough, skinny enough, well dressed enough, you get the picture. But earlier this week, I ran across a photo of a friend who was announcing her pregnancy. She was posed informally with her husband and she just looked so beautiful in a natural, non-model way, and most importantly, she looked happy. That was what stuck out to me the most about the picture. Not her outfit, the location, the shade of lipstick - just her undeniable joy. And it made me realize that inner glow is more important than any external factor. I know I'll need reminding of this time and time again as the year progresses, but it really rang true with me this week. 

And that's why my "resolutions" are taken from the above Audrey Hepburn quote: to laugh as often as possible, love with an open heart, be strong when things are difficult, let my inner glow shine, and have a fresh start whenever I need it.

{Image via Pinterest}  

Making Space For New Traditions

  

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” 

―C.S. Lewis

I am a woman of tradition, almost to a fault. I attach great meaning to things that are done year after year, and find great comfort in rituals and knowing exactly what to expect. Part of this is because of my introvert nature - comfort & routine are things I value greatly. At this time of year, traditions are front and center everywhere you look. From watching White Christmas while I wrap presents to singing Silent Night at the church I grew up on Christmas Eve, these next few weeks will be filled with nostalgia, but this year, also a little sadness. 

When you're someone who thrives on ritual and the importance of tradition, it can be difficult when long-standing traditions end. This year, because of things outside of my control, a few of my very favorite traditions won't be happening. Several months ago, I started to dread the holiday without them. Every time I pictured Christmas in my mind, images of those events were what I envisioned. Not being good with change anyway, I wasn't sure how to approach the season with the void these events had left behind. I could attempt to salvage what remained, but what was left wouldn't be the same at all. After much reflection, I realized the best thing would be to leave those traditions in my memory where they could live on, untarnished and at their best. 

After I gave myself a little time to be sad about this, a beautiful thing happened: it wasn't a void that these old traditions left behind, it was an empty space to be filled with new traditions. After all, every tradition is brand new the first time. And, because I was so focused on planning and upholding those sacred events that happened year after year, I closed myself off to new possibilities. My beau will be joining me for the full week in my hometown this year, and I'm so excited to forge new holiday territory with him in tow. 

And that sweater that I always buy my stepdad for Christmas? Since he likely has a whole closet full already, I think I'm going to get him something different this year.

{Image via Pinterest}

A Weekend of Thanks

This past weekend, my mom & stepdad drove in from Ohio to spend Thanksgiving with my beau and I. After years of battling the traffic ourselves to get to Ohio and last year's solo Thanksgiving, it was a real treat to have them with us. 

The weekend was the perfect kick off to the holiday season. We cooked Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday (complete with my mom's pumpkin pie, my favorite part), went to Apple House for even more apple butter donuts, saw a movie at the new Angelika theatre, oohed and ahhed over the adorable dancers in The Nutcracker, and bought & decorated a cute little Christmas tree. And, my mom surprised me with a sparkly red nail polish (Essie's Leading Lady). 

I have so much to be thankful for. Including you, the wonderful network of people I've met in this little corner of the internet. Happy kick off to the holidays! I'm putting on the Bing Crosby & Andrews Sisters holiday station on Pandora and trying to savor every moment.

Best Case Scenario

On Friday, I had a doctor's appointment that I was dreading. Because I feared I would be out of commission for the entire weekend, I didn't make any plans other than Sunday evening. With my worst case scenario mindset, I didn't want to be too optimistic and then have my hopes dashed. 

Imagine my surprise when the appointment went well and I found myself with a Saturday that was completely unplanned (and 65 degrees!). After a brief period of feeling overwhelmed & ill-prepared because I hadn't planned anything, my beau and I enjoyed a lovely afternoon in Northern Virginia. 

We had lunch at my beau's favorite Mexican restaurant. We took a drive to The Apple House for pumpkin spice donuts. We stopped at a winery for a tasting. We enjoyed the beautiful sunset and I felt miles away from the city, my routines, and most importantly, my worries. 

Lesson learned: sometimes, worst case scenario can actually turn out to be the best case scenario. 

{Photos taken on my iPhone using the Afterglow app}