Here in DC, it seems that fall has already slipped through our fingertips. One hurricane and an election later, the trees are nearly bare and I'm already reaching for my sweaters and heavier coat. And though I'm clearly a much bigger fan of chilly weather over warm, I keep wishing everything would just slow down a little bit. If I don't pause and enjoy my favorite time of year, in an instant, it will be the cold, dark days of February with nary a twinkle light in sight.
I've been reflecting recently on the passage of time, and how it just keeps speeding up. I get so caught up in our routines and cramming as many things as possible into my schedule that I worry I'm missing the beauty in life. Between snoozing my alarm and charting out every moment in my planner, there is my life, wizzing by. This time of year really just lends itself to slowing down a bit, stopping, and savoring those things in life that make it sparkle for you.
If you think about it, fall is the ideal time of year to release and let go of things you're hanging on to. Think of the trees, letting go of those beautiful leaves and allowing them to fall to the ground. New leaves will grow and emerge, but for now, it is the season for simplicity and turning inward.
A thing I'm specifically trying to let go of is planning, and within that, a bit of control. Next month, I'll be heading home to Ohio for the holidays. Typically, the schedule is chock full of social events and many hours in the car as I travel between different friend's homes. Usually by now I would have begun the planning of a few major get togethers, but this year, I'm taking a back seat. I want my time at home to be full of moments to savor, and not keeping an eye on the clock. I also want to cherish my time with those in my life who love me unconditionally, and not fret if I can't see everyone on my list. Quality over quantity.
Slowing down and letting go doesn't mean less happiness and fulfillment. In fact, in this case, I think it can only yield more.
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It's been hectic recently, in that way that makes me feel a little like Jessie Spano during her studying-for-finals-while-singing-in-Hot-Sundae phase. You know the feeling: there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day, you always feel a little behind on work, and you're complaining more than usual. That's how this past month has been, and I hated that time was whirling by at breakneck speed during my favorite season of the year.
This weekend, life intervened and caused me to slow down and take it all in. During a weekend where I'd promised I'd spend a little time catching up on my work to-do list, I came down with the sniffles on Thursday evening. I had no choice but to throw my lofty list of work tasks out the window and invest in feeling more like myself, mentally and physically.
As we know, I'm really great at the self care that involves taking a nap, watching a marathon of shows on Netflix, and otherwise distracting myself from the stress at hand. But what about engaging in activities that really restore me and make me realize that my life is full... but of beautiful, lovely things and not just emails, deadlines, and decisions.
So this weekend, I read my friend's little girl a bedtime story and tucked her in. I baked pumpkin chocolate chip bread and shared a loaf as a hostess gift. I ate a bowl of the best chili I've had in a long time. I enjoyed my first eggnog of the season. I had brunch and shopped with some of my favorite lady friends. And I didn't let myself feel guilty for not doing something more productive, because I've got to refill my own well before I have anything to give to others.
Sunday night, I got out my planner and mapped out my week. Yes, it's going to be a busy one. But because I slowed down this weekend, there is more space in my mind, heart, and life to be able to tackle those pesky administrative items and not be bogged down by them.
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I'm jumping on the bandwagon and sharing a few of my favorite things this month. I figure since I love reading posts like this, why not create my own?
The Mindy Project - I don't watch The Office, but fell in love with Mindy when I read her book (Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?) back in December. I felt an instant connection to her humor and love of romantic comedies and was delighted to hear she'd have her own show this fall. Let me tell you, it does not disappoint! Tune in for 30 minutes that feels like a romantic comedy in a tiny package.
Babel by Mumford & Sons - Oh, how Mumford & Sons sing to my soul. Their first album is still in constant rotation, and this new album has been keeping me sane during long workdays and road trips. My favorite track is "Below My Feet", because the lyrics are so beautiful: Keep the earth below my feet /For all my sweat, my blood runs weak /Let me learn from where I have been /Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn
Bahama Mama nail polish - Though I will never "need" another nail polish, that certainly doesn't stop me from purchasing them. I recently ran across Essie's Bahama Mama shade at my local CVS, and it's actually the perfect maroon color without being too dark or too purple. I'm definitely going to wear it a lot this fall & winter.
Bubble necklace - I'd been seeing bubble necklaces a lot around Pinterest & blogs, but ran into a beautiful display in person at Eastern Market this past weekend. I snagged this turquoise gem, and have worn it several times since. I love how it makes my striped shirts (of which I have many) a little dressier and part of a pulled together look.
Wild by Cheryl Stayed - I'm the least outdoorsy person I know, so I wondered if this book, which is about hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, would lose my interest with it's backpacking lingo and descriptions of trees. Imagine my surprise when I was taken on an adventure of a woman healing herself after her mother's death and a painful divorce. I highly recommend this book.
What are your favorites this month?
All this talk about fall got me thinking: what is on my to-do list for my favorite time of year?
- Bake my mom's apple pie (it was a blue ribbon winner at my hometown's fall festival!)
- Take a picnic lunch and go for a drive/hike on Skyline Drive
- Finally finish season 2 of Downton Abbey
- Begin "CrockPot Sundays" (self explanatory)
- Enjoy my current fall wardrobe - no more clothes shopping!
- Go on a camping trip with my beau (nearby bathrooms mandatory)
- Read a classic book I've never read (The Great Gatsby is on tap for my book club)
- Light candles more frequently
- Buy some mini pumpkins and decorate my apartment
- Say goodbye to a few TV shows that I'm not loving any longer (Grey's Anatomy, I'm looking at you...)
- Take a day trip to a few of my favorite Northern Virginia wineries
- Enjoy a weekend with my dad and stepmom (they'll be here in mid-October - hurray!)
What are you looking forward to this season?
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When the humidity fades and that cool autumn breeze arrives, my energy and mood improve considerably. September and October might just be my favorite time of year. For an introvert like me, the beginning of the slowing down and focusing inward is extremely appealing, and the mugs of warm tea and flickering candles don't hurt either.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about where I get my energy recently. When I describe myself as an introvert, some are surprised. I'm not particularly shy and I am certainly one of those people who can talk to anyone about anything. But, that is not where I get my energy. In fact (and no offense, friends), large social situations actually drain my energy. It isn't to say that I'm not having a good time, it's just that for me, I charge my batteries with large doses of unscheduled time alone. One on one time with friends or my beau are the exception to this rule, but generally speaking, this is how I operate. I feel as if summer isn't exactly an introvert's natural habitat. With so much going on and the emphasis on being "out and about", I can feel a little out of my element at an all day pool party or backyard barbeque.
When planning my weeks and especially weekends, I've got to make sure there is enough unscheduled time thrown in the mix. While I know my beau isn't thrilled with my love of planning the weekends on Monday, it really helps set my expectations and know how much downtime I need to plan during the week to offset it. I know it may sound silly to some, but if I don't get enough unscheduled time, anxiety creeps in & I'm even less content in the social situations.
Fall is like nature's little nudge that it's okay to be a little introverted -- a Saturday morning spent lingering at your favorite brunch spot or (better yet) cozy in bed, an evening after work in a cozy chair with the book you just can't put down, or inviting friends over for chili that you threw in the CrockPot. Slowing down is natural, and I feel that this season is more in tune with my inner rhythm than any other (though I warn you, I'm one of those confusing people that loves winter as well).
Also, the "back to school" nature of this time of year means that it's a wonderful time to reflect, plan, and organize. Last night, I spent over an hour charting out September & October in my planner, making bullet pointed lists of all of those nagging life administrative items that must be taken care of.
Regardless of your extrovert vs introvert status, I think fall is the perfect time for us all of us to slow down a little and refocus on what brings us happiness. For me, it's finding that balance between social time and solitude, with some new school supplies thrown in to keep me organized.
Happy September!
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I love the inspiration and new-found motivation that comes with the changing of the seasons, and the transition from summer into fall is my favorite of all. As soon as I flipped my calendar to September, I started feeling the urge to brainstorm, plan, and organize.
It was with this thinking yesterday that I pulled out a blank page in my notebook and started to jot down some goals for September. But as I was putting pen to paper, this simple string of words came to me: read, bake, yoga, laugh, create, be. And so, my theme for the fall (and perhaps life) was born.
Read: I’ve been enjoying a year of good reading so far in 2012. With the discovery of library lending for the Kindle, my book club, and swapping Kindles with a friend, I’m always in the midst of a book I love. Currently I’m reading Beautiful Ruins, and next up is The Tiger’s Wife, for my book club. I’m also eager to peruse my September Real Simple magazine, and to keep up on reading some of my favorite blogs.
Bake: I’m not much in the kitchen, as I’ll be the first to admit. But lately, on Pinterest, I’ve found myself pinning a lot of baked goods. My lofty goal is to bake a layer cake, but I may ease in with some banana bread, pumpkin muffins, or these dark chocolate pistachio cookies I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.
Yoga: I feel much better when I am regularly doing yoga, but unfortunately, it’s one of the first things to go when things get busy. Somehow, I feel that flopping on the couch for a How I Met Your Mother marathon is better for my soul than turning inward for yoga. While sometimes this may well be the case, I am making it a priority to return to taking at least one yoga class per week. I’m writing it in my planner and making it happen.
Laugh: I’ve been lucky enough to be laughing a lot lately, largely in part to my beau, funny friends, and Arrested Development. This past Saturday we watched the original Footloose movie (my first time seeing it!) and the commentary with my friends and I kept me laughing well into the next day. This month, I’m going to keep surrounding myself with people that make me laugh, and try to take situations lightly that would otherwise cause my brow to furrow.
Create: I do a bit of graphic design for my day job, and occasionally there are so many projects in the hopper that my eyes start to cross. But this is a creative outlet for me, so I’m going to tackle each project with fresh eyes and take pride in what I’ve done. I’m also striving to take more pictures (do you follow me on Instagram?) and regularly ordering prints from Prinstagram. A few weeks ago, I took about 5 minutes and taped up a heart using some of my printed pictures, and I love the result.
Be: I’m going to unplug as often as possible, enjoy the moment as it is, and just be. I’m going to strive to be myself in all situations, and the best version of myself that I can be. I’m going to take each day as it comes, appreciate the good, and leave the bad.
I've got a very thin, sensitive skin. I tend to get too emotionally invested in things, take things too personally, and let things affect me more than they should. Yesterday, I ended up bursting into tears over a very tiny thing. As it often is, it wasn't that one thing that caused the tears, but the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back". And once the tears started, I began crying about everything. You know the feeling. But once I mopped up my mascara-streaked cheeks, ate an ice cream sandwich, and cozied up in bed extra early, I realized the next step in my quest to be a better Sarah: care less.
This week, I received a particularly jarring email from a friend who's been in my life for a long time. Essentially, this message shared that our friendship was at the end of its road, largely based on my behavior, and that this person deserved better than what I was able to give. Immediately, my mind went to the usual place -- What could I do to repair this rift? Was this person right, was I a terrible friend? But then, why allow myself to care so much about this? Friendships change, and I knew it wasn't a quick decision for this person to end ours. I'm letting go and moving on, as they have.
Work has also been intense recently, and I'm the type of person who will stay late and check email far too often from home in an attempt to stay on top of things. But over the past few weeks, I've tried to set better boundaries for myself -- arrive on time (or early, if needed), take a short lunch break, and leave on time unless truly necessary. What I've found is with that mindset, I've actually been accomplishing more in a shorter time. I'm striving to have my work time be for work only, and not let it litter my thoughts and time while I'm not there. It's just a job, after all, even if it's one that I do care about. But by caring less, it's helping adjust my work/life balance.
And that thing that ultimately made me cry this week? Oh so small, and a prime example of caring less. Often with things involving me, I become emotional and feel the need to "fix" everything for everyone, while sacrificing myself in the process. I am immediately overwhelmed with everything that needs to happen to make the situation better -- the emails or texts to send, the things in my own schedule that can be rearranged to accommodate, and the to-do list starts growing. But, what happens when I toss all of that out the window and don't involve myself so much? Things work out as they should, and I breathe easier. Win-win.
So, this weekend, I plan to throw my cares out the window and focus on the areas of my life that really need my emotional attention, instead of my knee jerk emotional response. As one of my favorite quotes says "Ponder what seeds you're planting, what needs watering, and what needs weeding".
So, I shall plant, water, and weed.
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