Care Less

I've got a very thin, sensitive skin. I tend to get too emotionally invested in things, take things too personally, and let things affect me more than they should. Yesterday, I ended up bursting into tears over a very tiny thing. As it often is, it wasn't that one thing that caused the tears, but the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back". And once the tears started, I began crying about everything. You know the feeling. But once I mopped up my mascara-streaked cheeks, ate an ice cream sandwich, and cozied up in bed extra early, I realized the next step in my quest to be a better Sarah: care less. 

This week, I received a particularly jarring email from a friend who's been in my life for a long time. Essentially, this message shared that our friendship was at the end of its road, largely based on my behavior, and that this person deserved better than what I was able to give. Immediately, my mind went to the usual place -- What could I do to repair this rift? Was this person right, was I a terrible friend? But then, why allow myself to care so much about this? Friendships change, and I knew it wasn't a quick decision for this person to end ours. I'm letting go and moving on, as they have. 

Work has also been intense recently, and I'm the type of person who will stay late and check email far too often from home in an attempt to stay on top of things. But over the past few weeks, I've tried to set better boundaries for myself -- arrive on time (or early, if needed), take a short lunch break, and leave on time unless truly necessary. What I've found is with that mindset, I've actually been accomplishing more in a shorter time. I'm striving to have my work time be for work only, and not let it litter my thoughts and time while I'm not there. It's just a job, after all, even if it's one that I do care about. But by caring less, it's helping adjust my work/life balance.

And that thing that ultimately made me cry this week? Oh so small, and a prime example of caring less. Often with things involving me, I become emotional and feel the need to "fix" everything for everyone, while sacrificing myself in the process. I am immediately overwhelmed with everything that needs to happen to make the situation better -- the emails or texts to send, the things in my own schedule that can be rearranged to accommodate, and the to-do list starts growing. But, what happens when I toss all of that out the window and don't involve myself so much? Things work out as they should, and I breathe easier. Win-win. 

So, this weekend, I plan to throw my cares out the window and focus on the areas of my life that really need my emotional attention, instead of my knee jerk emotional response. As one of my favorite quotes says "Ponder what seeds you're planting, what needs watering, and what needs weeding". 

So, I shall plant, water, and weed.

{Image via Pinterest}