BFF with Myself

This Valentine's Day, I'm surrounded by a lot of love. For starters, my beau and I will be doing our annual tradition of dinner at Chipotle (which is perfect for us). I also received a sweet package in the mail from my mom yesterday, and have been trading Valentine's greetings with friends all day. But, the relationship that I'm reflecting on the most today is my relationship with myself. 

Several months ago, a friendship ended with a person that I long considered to be my best friend. It wasn't my decision, but the best thing I could do for this person (and ultimately myself) was to just let it go. I've been on an emotional roller coaster about it since it happened, but the biggest struggle I faced was feeling lonely without my best friend, really feeling the void that this person had filled. In a way, it was like a break-up, but harder in a sense because it was with a person I'd known for 80% of my life. 

I was recently reading an interview with Mindy Kaling, who I adore, and the article touched on the subject of her mother's battle with cancer and their final words before she passed away. “I said to her, ‘Mom, I’m going to be so lonely without you. And she just said, ‘You have to be your own best friend. If you always remember that, you will always have someone there with you.’” 

Isn't that simple, yet so powerful? Our relationship with ourselves is truly the most important and fundamental one that we will ever embark on. We've got to do our best to truly love ourselves and give ourselves the priority, acceptance, and care that we give to others. I often find that I don't do this: I'll give great advice to others and not take it to heart myself, I won't realize when my stress level is sky high, and I am content just plodding along, day after day. 

Is the voice inside yourself saying kind things, as you'd say to a dear friend, or speaking harshly and negatively, the kinds of things you'd never say to anyone else? This week also is the beginning of Lent, and I've decided that instead of giving up something tangible, like cheese or shopping, that I will "give up" the negative self-talk and strive to be more aware of that inner voice.

I'm extremely blessed to have a loving family, an incredibly supportive boyfriend, and the dearest friends, both near and far. But the relationship that I'm most thankful for today is the one that I'm cultivating with myself. As Oscar Wilde says, it's the beginning of a lifelong romance.

{Image via Pinterest}

Creating Space

 

In this digital age of virtual calendars, to-do lists, and perpetually over-scheduling ourselves, it's so hard to allow ourselves room in our daily lives to just be. As an introvert, I often have to literally schedule unscheduled time for myself in my planner, but even then, packing our days and weekends full has just become the norm. I also tend to cherish unplanned moments to just have true downtime (i.e. reading, watching TV, taking a nap) and don't realize that filling those spaces with other restorative activities can have an even greater impact.

One morning last week I was facing a long day at work, the kind that typically made me want to hide under the covers until the last possible moment. But that morning, I decided to try something different. I got up earlier than normal (only about 30 minutes) and gave myself time to get ready without being in a hurry. I wasn't racing against the clock as I traveled to work, and even enjoyed listening to a new podcast (have you listened to Pop Culture Happy Hour yet? It's my new favorite).

And, a strange thing occurred -- I actually found myself in a terrific mood when I arrived at work, with more energy than usual. And with less sleep? It seemed a little backwards, but it led me to realize what other areas of my life could benefit from a little extra space. 

This past weekend, my beau & I found ourselves with a completely unscheduled Saturday. We headed out to Takoma Park, a neighboring little town with cute shops and spots for lunch. We planned on having lunch there, but after lunch, we decided to swing by a cafe just down the street for a hot beverage and a sweet treat. As we wandered in, we realized that it wasn't really a "to go" type place, so we decided to settle in and sip our drinks out of actual mugs. What a treat to not rush off somewhere! We sat & chatted, and afterward decided that coffee dates should be a part of our regular repertoire. 

What small changes, but what big impact on my daily life and mood. I hope to keep creating these little areas of space for myself, and am excited to see what fills them.