If you're a friend of mine, follow me on Twitter, or even read this blog, you may be under the impression that I'm an optimist, a gratitude seeker, someone who can find joy in the little things in life. While it's true that I strive to be this way, let me let you in on a little secret: I am a worry-wart. A Negative Nelly. A glass is half empty type of gal, at least when it comes to my own little life.
Recently, I was in Ohio for a family wedding. My 80-year-old grandpa had an appointment scheduled with a surgeon the following day for an aneurysm that had just been found on a routine ultrasound. Naturally, thinking of it ahead of time, I asked him how he was holding up. He said "Why would I think about that today? The appointment isn't until tomorrow. I'll think about it then."
Oh, to have that as my mentality... to stay positive, or better yet, not dwell on a particular event or situation until the moment that you're actually facing it? I truly am the opposite, and find it difficult to think of anything else if there is something negative to worry about. It's as if I actually think that worrying, focusing, obsessing over what's to come can somehow stop it from happening. It's the little piece of control that I have in this uncertain world, right? Wrong.
Enter my new mantra: Worry is not preventative. It does not stop something bad from happening, it does not make you more prepared, it does not superstitiously give you a better chance of good news. It depletes your resources, creates clouds on an otherwise sunny day, and robs you of the joy you do have in your life.
Let me be honest... realizing this and taking it to heart is the first step on a long journey for me. As I said, worry is a well worn path in my mind, and it takes a lot of courage to take a step on a road that's rarely been traveled. But, why not give it a try? Whether it's something small (a challenging meeting you're not looking forward to, an unpleasant conversation with a friend) or something larger (a worrisome doctor visit), I'm making a conscious effort to attack it more positively and let go of the fear that this means I "deserve" something bad.
Here are some small things I'm finding helpful as I begin this journey:
+ Finding a friend who truly understands and can say "Girl, you're crazy" in a nice & supportive way.
+ At the end of every day, thinking of (or writing down) 3 things you're grateful for about that day, and 3 things you're looking forward to about tomorrow.
+ Changing my iPhone wallpaper to a positive quote or sentiment, so I see it throughout the day.
+ When you find yourself saying "What if [terrible thing] happens?", also look at the reverse side, "what if [terrible thing] doesn't happen?".
I know that many of you may struggle with this as well, so I invite you to join me on my quest to see the glass as half full. Let's start small, dip our toes in the water, and see where it takes us.
{Image via Pinterest}
